Got all my work done and it was probably the most lucrative day of my life so far. To have a day like that capped off with the ball dropping and the world rolling into the year 2010 felt incredibly good.
The salad I was going to get turned into a two cheeseburger meal, with medium fries and a diet coke.
It was just disgusting honestly. I feel like I don't have the stomach for this shit anymore. I didn't get even the slightest enjoyment out of eating it.That was before my work day started (at 3am), then after I was done (at 7pm) I had a turkey and cheddar sandwich, ruffles with french onion dip, and a corona.
Probably something like 2400 calories on the day.Until tomorrow,
Eric
Eric,
ReplyDeleteIf you are as addicted to food as I was, the 2-cheeseburger meal instead of the "QP w/cheese supersized meal plus the extra Big Mac because I couldn't decide which one I really wanted and I didn't want to feel hungry later" is actually a pretty good choice.
It may take awhile before choosing a consistently healthy diet with only the occasional indulgence becomes natural.
You should consider it a victory.
Continued good choices to you!
That really isn't bad calorie wise. Just that you're thinking about what you're eating is a success. I'm thinking of you. Happy New Year.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
ReplyDeleteI think it's too easy for readers of this blog to forget that no matter how bad what I'm doing now might be, what I was doing before the blog was 10x worse.
I was never exaggerating when I talked about how I'd piece each binge together off multiple drive-thrus, and would average more than 35 runs through drive-thrus per week.
I wasn't really thinking about it at the time, but I guess just ordering a regular number 2 with diet coke is a pretty significant departure from what I'd normally order.
And to not feel like I wanted more after eating that has to be progress. And to genuinely not enjoy eating it has to be progress.
I don't know though. Cheeseburgers are bad. I'll try not to eat them anymore.
Poor cows.
I get what you're saying when you don't feel like you have the stomach for this anymore.
ReplyDeleteI (unfortunately) still love Taco Bell but McDs has zero appeal for me now.
Once upon a time, I could easily eat a cheeseburger on the way home from the drive thru where I would then sit down w/my family to have the meal. I was a total closet binge eater...and even after a year of really trying hard, giving up 90% of my eating out, making lots of things from scratch, turning to whole foods & grains...I still have moments of 'mini binging'. Usually I can direct it to something else - distract myself from the urge - but no one is perfect.
Yes, this is better than how you were eating before. I think most of the people reading just worry that your foods are still so caloric dense versus nutritionally dense. You're not getting any fruits or veggies or whole grains.
You may not be ready to make that change yet, but please keep it in the back of you mind because if you are going to lose weight, keep it off & be healthier then you'll have to really look at what you are eating.
Until then, do what you can to make positive changes. Smaller portions is an excellent place to begin.
Best wishes,
Lynn