Sunday, February 28, 2010

Day 77 - The Caffeine Scare

Hello blog.

Ate nothing but candy and sugar free Red Bull today. Had 3 candy bars and 3 gigantic cans of sugar free Red Bull in a pretty short time frame between like 5am and 8am.

That's what the face of evil looks like.

462mg of caffeine, and I actually have a history of extreme sensitivity to caffeine. I don't know what I was thinking.

I was having all the symptoms of caffeine intoxication. The worst ones were the dizziness, paranoia and trouble breathing. It was like I couldn't get enough air and was feeling like I was gonna pass out and I was seriously thinking about calling an ambulance (not kidding).

I don't know what made me think caffeine was a good idea. As a teenager I'd have the same episodes with caffeine, sometimes even worse where I'd end up with night terrors and feelings of impending doom etc.

I have to have some kind of caffeine allergy. That or my mind just reacts adversely to it, or I'm extremely sensitive to it, or something. I think most people could drink 6 Red Bulls in a row without feeling like they were going to die and wanting to call an ambulance, but not me apparently.

I went to a 7th Day Adventist private school when I was around 13, none of the practicing 7th Days were allowed to consume any caffeine at all. And they're some of the longest lived people on the planet.

Like 800 calories. When the symptoms were at their worst I took a fish oil supplement and a multivitamin thinking that might help. With the stomach ache and everything I just wasn't hungry after that.

February was one of my best months ever in terms of work and that's really got me motivated for March. March starts on Monday and is a 31-day month, and right now I'm thinking about scheduling myself 372 hours (12/day) which would be the biggest workload I've ever taken on.

My lifestyle during that stretch would be intensely miserable but the feelings of accomplishment would be unlike any I've ever felt before. I can't see any reason why I can't do it. And now would be the time since there's no major holidays or birthdays in March.

Until tomorrow,

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Day 76 - The Tacos

Hello blog.

Had two of those chicken caesar bowls, and for dinner I felt like tacos.

I had 3 corn and 3 flour, for a total 840 calories (according to Del Taco's website).

Throughout the day I also had 6 sugar free Red Bulls (3 big cans, 6 total servings). My body's circadian rhythm is off right now and I'm trying to bring it back to getting sleepy at a normal time, instead of at noon. That's 60 calories since it has inositol.

Less than 2,000 on the day.

I actually thought about going for a walk, but it's been raining so I couldn't. But I definitely thought about it. Maybe when it stops raining I'll actually move my limbs for once. :)

Until tomorrow,

Friday, February 26, 2010

Day 75 - The Caesar Bowl

Hello blog.

So I scrapped that idea for now, and ate twice today. First was one of these:

With a lot of creamy cilantro dressing.

Later was a pretty big chicken burrito with plain corn chips.

I can feel myself getting pretty impatient with this lately.

Not sure what I'm gonna do about that. Something.

Until tomorrow,

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Day 74 - The Mealaday Plan

Hello blog.

Today I had some candy, then dinner was some grilled chicken.

I had two breasts and a wing, with beans and rice, and 2 small corn tortillas, with salsa and guacamole (mmmm). It was just the one meal for the whole day, and it got me thinking.

What would a single nutritionally perfect meal look like?

Would it have like 20 half-bites of 20 different kinds of fruit and vegetable? What kind of beans would it have? What kind of meat?

I don't know. The idea of a nutritionally perfect meal sounds appealing to me. And the idea of eating just once a day sounds appealing to me, too. It's a lot less stressful and there are fewer opportunities for me to overeat.

So here's what I'm going to try over the next... well, tomorrow. And I'll see if it sticks. I'm just gonna eat once a day a few hours before bed, and the meal is going to include some form of animal protein, some form of carbohydrates, and a multivitamin. And some other more colorful stuff. I'll figure it out later.

Maybe some fish oil, or red wine.

I started positioning my feet a little differently on my scale, and I think it added a couple pounds. They're more toward the center of the scale now and I think that gives a more accurate reading?

I should buy a new scale. Mine is crappy.

Until tomorrow,

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Day 73 - The Beans and Rice and Chicken

Hello blog.

Breakfast was a flashback to a few weeks ago. I had scrambled eggs, bacon, and rye toast. It's a meal I was eating quite a bit when I think I was doing a little better with this diet. About 600 - 700 calories.

Like I said in my last post, I also had Kung Pao Chicken a la carte.

Pictured here is an authentic version of the dish served in Shanghai. What I had was a very small 250 calorie portion of the westernized version.

I ate this too early in the day and ended up getting very hungry by the evening. Tried to keep it reasonable-er and went with a mexican plate of beans, rice, and chicken, with one tortilla. About 700 calories.

I guess 1600 - 1700 or so on the day.

Was actually about to go out and spend 1000 calories like they were quarters in the hands of a kid in an arcade, but Kim's post brought my fat-guy guilt to an all-time high and I went with the beans and rice instead.

Asking people in my life how my eating affects them sounds like a great idea on paper, but I can't imagine how I'd ever bring myself to do it. Even if I decided to, I'd probably sit there unable to even start the first sentence. It'd seem too dramatic to me. And one of my siblings has already put my parents through enough drama, I'm always trying to be the one that doesn't have any for them.

It's kind of funny that you brought up that idea though, because just this morning I was heading out and I saw a note taped to my neighbor's apartment door. My neighbor's a black guy who I was always pretty sure was gay, living with his mom and I think his sister. The note taped to the door was a list of declarations, and among that list of declarations were things like "I declare I'm going to sing for a living" and "I declare I'm going to become a millionaire."

The two that stood out were, "I declare I'm going to meet and marry the man of my dreams." Later followed by, "I declare I'm going to be a better man." I don't know if this was his way of coming out to his family, but it seemed really grandiose and weird to me.

Basically, how I felt about my neighbor when reading that note, is how I'd expect everyone else to feel if I started asking them if my eating makes them sad. And I don't want to be that guy.

It wouldn't take very long, though. I only know like 3 people on a personal level.

You're right though, my problems are much more than just binge addiction. And yeah, I'm continuing to meet with my psychologist every week. I actually recently learned I meet the diagnostic criteria for Asperger's syndrome.

Not sure how I feel about that.

I lost my train of thought.

Until tomorrow,

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Days 71-72 - The Stella Artois

Hello blog.

Still been off my diet. It's kind of been put on the back burner for a while now. I'm not gonna make any promises about what's going to happen with it, since we all know how much that would be worth, but I'm going to keep making attempts at getting back with it like I have been.

Been having some of this the last couple days, along with leftover pizza and hotwings. Very frat house of me. Other than that there was a turkey bacon cheddar sandwich, some stuffed jalapenos, and one other thing I'm struggling to remember. Sorry.

Stella Artois reminds me of the time I spent in New York. Kind of how adults return to McDonald's for those happy childhood memories, I guess I go for Stella to remind myself of complimentary shoehorns and $60 almond milk pancakes.

As I'm writing this post I'm in the middle of day 73. So far I've had a modest brunch and future plans are to just have for dinner a small serving of kung pao chicken a la carte. Kind of a stupid plan, but wish me luck.

Until tomorrow,

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Day 70 - The Birthday Party

Hello blog.

Today was somebody's birthday, so went off my diet. Basically ate a whole lot of chicken wings, drank a few beers, and ate a bunch of pizza. And a slice of cake.

Not even going to try to estimate calories.

Rushing right now. Hope you guys had a great weekend.

Until tomorrow,

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Day 69 - The Whitest Boy Alive

Hello blog.

Went to Starbucks and got a slice of banana walnut bread with a tall (small) cappuccino. Took some milk chocolate covered graham crackers with me because they're just too delicious. They do something to that milk chocolate, I'm not sure what, but I think it's the best milk chocolate in the world.

Here's a YouTube of a song I like because I don't have a picture of food:

For some reason I seem to like things not many other people like.

Anyway, later had a crispy chicken sandwich and then a chicken quesadilla with guacamole. About 1600 - 1800 calories on the day.

The day after this one (which is actually today since I always blog about the previous day) is somebody's birthday, which I went off my diet for.

I'm actually really looking forward to waking up tomorrow.

Until then,

Friday, February 19, 2010

Day 68 - The Southern Style

Hello blog.

A lot of repeat foods today. I went for some Chinese which I do often. I asked for barbecued pork, they were out. I asked for beijing beef, they were out. I asked for mandarin chicken, they were out.

So I ended up getting kung pao chicken and broccoli beef, with a big side of steamed vegetables.

When I went to pay for the food they said they threw in some free spring rolls since they didn't have any of the stuff I wanted. +200 calories.

Later I pulled through McDonald's. The amount of cheeseburgers I'd be eating if I didn't have this blog might astonish you. But I can rarely bring myself to eat a cheeseburger anymore because I see it as one of the worst things to have to report here.

Same with any kind of candy bar or cake type thing, or non-diet soda, or milkshake, etc. French fries oddly enough I don't feel any shame over, which is strange because they're just as bad as any of those other things I mentioned.

Anyway at McDonald's I went with one of these:

The southern style crispy chicken sandwich.

I managed to resist that urge to order french fries, but kind of parlayed that into an excuse to order some ice cream. Which is something I said I wouldn't do anymore, but I also said I'd follow a bunch of rules which I suck at following.

I think I'm better at eating fewer calories in general than I am at following specific rules. Which is unfortunate, but maybe eventually I'll start making healthier choices. I don't know.

Not sure where this big drop is coming from. Could be dehydration from all the coke zero. Calories on this day were about... 1400 - 1700 or so. I'm sure it'll level off, it's not possible that I actually lost 3lbs of fat/muscle in a day.

Edit: I just realized this marks my first 30lbs lost. Yay.

Until tomorrow,

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Day 67 - The Huevos Rancheros

Hello blog.

Went out to breakfast and saw something on the menu I've never tried before. Huevos rancheros.

It's basically delicious cooked peppers and onions and sauce on top of eggs on top of a tortilla. The dish I ordered looked pretty much like that, except instead of beans and rice it came with beans and hashbrowns.

I had a few bites of the hashbrowns and a few bites of the beans, but for the most part left them alone.

I really liked it. It's pretty rare that I don't enjoy something new.

Over lunch I had a smallish caesar salad sans chicken, and I think a granny smith apple.

Dinner was going to be half an italian sandwich and 3 stuffed jalapenos, but unfortunately turned into an italian sandwich and 7 stuffed jalapenos.

I think around 2100 - 2400 calories on the day. If I had eaten what I was planning to for dinner it would've been like 1500 - 1800.

My willpower has been sucking lately. I'm thinking about skipping breakfast from now on. Or going on another fast.

Until tomorrow,

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Day 66 - The Organic Banana

Hello blog.

Really simple day today.

I had an organic banana to start.

It was a lot smaller than a non-organic banana. And it smelled more banana-y. Probably because the organic ones aren't genetically modified to grow larger, right?

My mango rotted before I could eat it.

Then I had some chinese food. Kung pao chicken, beijing beef, and chow mein noodles, with a side of rangoons.

Then I came home, made yesterday's blog post, then slept for literally 17 hours straight. (I just woke up)

Still losing weight. Calories for today were around 1100 - 1400.

Until tomorrow,

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Day 65 - The Cappuccino

Hello blog.

It's getting difficult to remember what I've eaten recently, because my sleep has been so erratic lately. But I'm pretty sure I started with a cappuccino from Starbucks.

I don't really see what the big deal is with Starbucks. I think they do a lot to make the products seem like they're of a much higher quality than they actually are.

McDonald's of the coffee shop world I guess.

I had that with a spinach and feta wrap. Mid-morning I had a donut, then ate nothing until one roast beef sandwich for dinner.

Probably around 1400 - 1600 on the day.

My sleep has been really bad recently. I just finished what I needed to for work today and I'm about to go to sleep. It's 4:00pm and I just feel really sleepy for some reason.

I actually didn't mention that I've added Coca-Cola Zero to my diet. I bought a case of it and have been drinking like 6 of them a day the past couple days. I didn't think it was relevant since it's zero calorie, but that's probably the source of my sleep problems right there.

Until tomorrow,

Monday, February 15, 2010

Day 64 - The Saint Valentine's Day

Hello blog.

I already warned you about this day so don't act surprised. I had a bowl of golden grahams with 2% milk, a small cheeseburger, a small fry, chicken nuggets, and some chocolates. Dinner was a small plate of spaghetti with meatballs and cheese cooked at home and eaten by one sad fat man.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Until tomorrow,

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Day 63 - The Kiwifruit

Hello blog.

Today wasn't good. I hate holidays and how perfectly they work as a convenient excuse for me to eat poorly.

I had 2 kiwifruits in the morning.

Along with some cottage cheese and raw spanish peanuts. Fruit, raw nuts and cottage cheese work really well for me, because I don't ever really crave any of those things. They're safe foods to keep around the house because I know I won't binge on them no matter how hungry I get.

It fell off the rails from there. I had a quarter pounder and a small fry. Then later I had a corn dog. Then later I had a roast beef sandwich. A little under 2,000 calories total, I think. Or a little over. Thereabouts.

The quarter pounder was a direct result of a trailer for From Paris With Love. In it, John Travolta talks about a "royale with cheese", which is what his character in Pulp Fiction (one of my all-time favorites) ordered from McDonald's in France. They call it a royale because no one over there understands the metric system.

Product placements and advertising for shitty food, it really owns me.

That and I've just been feeling really abnormally miserable lately. I'm just miserable all the time and the only thing that will improve my mood is really terribly shitty food.

I always cover the previous day with these blog entries. At the time I'm writing this one, Saint Valentine's Day has already passed, and in terms of food it was a little worse than this one. So be prepared for that.

I really enjoyed the kiwifruit. And I just learned it's an excellent source of Vitamin K.

I bought some organic bananas and fresh mango. Gonna keep trying new fruits.

I'm really disappointed in myself.

Until tomorrow,

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Day 62 - The Pear

Hello blog.

Today went a little better than yesterday I think. But just a little. I had a pear.

Mmm, pear. I cut this one up into wedges so I didn't feel so much like a 5th century villager this time.

I also had a small handful (less than a quarter cup I think) of raw spanish peanuts, and a serving of lowfat cottage cheese with a bit of salt and pepper. Oh and a dill pickle spear.

I actually forgot to mention these chili and lime seasoned pistachios that I had yesterday. I had some of those again today as a brunch-type morning snack while I was getting set up for work.

Lunch was Chinese food. I had some broccoli beef, some kung pao chicken, and too much chow mein. I was originally going to get orange chicken instead of the broccoli beef, along with some cream cheese rangoons, but those are both deep fried. I actually found myself thinking about this blog at the menu, and thinking I'd much rather come back here with a story about broccoli beef than have to come back here and confess to deep fried chicken and cream cheese rangoons.

This must be how married men feel when their wives are getting on them about their cholesterol.

It feels kinda good.

Finished the day with a small caesar salad. I had it with croutons, which now that I think about it might actually be deep fried. Oh well.

Tomorrow I'm having kiwi.

Until then,

Friday, February 12, 2010

Day 61 - The Plum

Hello blog.

The first day of eating grocery store food went a little shaky. After a week of eating crap I'm actually feeling some withdrawals at this point. I gave in and had a chicken burrito and a steak taco, honestly because I knew I had that excuse. Fat guy logic.

So then I got home with my groceries, and I took them out of the bags, and used my fridge for something other than drinks and condiments for a change.

My kitchen always reminds me of that movie Fight Club. "A house full of condiments and no food. How embarrassing."

The rest of the day went pretty well. I had a quarter cup of raw spanish peanuts (they're not technically raw because it'd be illegal for them to sell it that way, they've been heat treated). I had a plum.

There's a plum. Just a raw plum. I felt like a 5th century villager or something.

And I also had yogurt. Too much yogurt honestly. I love yogurt, I should probably go with cottage cheese instead that way I'm not tempted by yogurt all day. And dinner was a salad with grilled chicken (precooked) and fresh grated parmesan cheese.

So that's my first time eating groceries in a very long time. I guess my goal for tomorrow will be to go sans burrito.

So to recap, here are the rules I followed:

-Eat a fruit
-Eat a salad
-Avoid all deep fried food

And the rules I broke:

-Eat less than 1400 calories
-Avoid everything that doesn't look like a plant or an animal (flour tortilla)

We'll see how I do tomorrow.

Until then,

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Days 56-60 - The Superbowl

Hello blog.

I fell off my diet over the Superbowl, my computer exploded, and I gained 4 pounds.

My life has been pretty messy these past few days. I lost all of the data on my hard drive, so I've had to reinstall everything, reconfigure some touchy software, and reconstruct a huge database. It's like a big pile of work that I don't get paid for.

I'm just about fixed up now though. My life will be back to normal within a couple days.

With regard to my absence, I didn't keep any record of what I ate, but it was too much. Beer, meatballs, a pulled pork sandwich, potato chips, lots of pistachios, pizza, chips and dips, hot wings. Basically typical Superbowl fare extended over a 5-day period.

Without a functioning computer at home I feel like I'm in limbo or something. I really live through my computer. I can't even receive a bill without my computer. I can't get work done. I can't pay a bill. I can't communicate with people. I'd find myself sitting around my apartment not knowing what the hell to do with myself.

I actually watched an entire episode of Maury. That guy is just pure evil. And I ate a lot of bad foods, I think mostly out of boredom.

But I'm fully back now. Back with a functioning computer. Back to my daily updates, and back to healthier eating.

The plan I'm going forward with is pretty basic. Keep it under 1400 calories per day, avoid all deep fried foods, eat a salad and a fruit every day, and generally avoid all food that isn't immediately recognizable as some kind of a plant or an animal.

I've just come home from the grocery store (hear that), with some fresh fruits and yogurt and raw nuts and salad.

If you see me deviating from that plan I outlined, please do give me hell in the comments. :)

Yuck. This graph makes 4lbs look like a mountain.

It'll be back off in no time.

Until tomorrow,

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Absence

Hello blog.

So it turns out those problems I was having with my computer previously hadn't actually resolved themselves.

My hard drive basically melted, and I've been without a computer for a few days now.

I'd been treating it like it was a software issue, but in fact it was a hardware failure.

The parts I needed to fix it arrived in the mail today and I've just finished giving my computer a spiffy new hard drive and a completely fresh installation of Windows 7.

I just finished fixing everything literally a few minutes ago. I'm on cloud 9 right now.

For anyone reading this that's into computers like I am, I'd highly recommend trying out the new Solid State Drives (SSDs). No moving parts. The speed boost is pretty unbelievable. People wonder where their computers are bottlenecking performance-wise, and I think 99% of the time these days, the answer is their hard drive.

I'm so impressed with this SSD I'm probably gonna get a second one and put them together in RAID 0.

Then maybe get a 1.5 TB Stoneage HD just for storage (the SSDs are really lacking in capacity at the moment, $300 for an 80 gig).

Anyway that was all nonsense to most of you. This blog is about food and health. I've been off my diet during the absence and I've gained a couple pounds. There haven't been any ravenous binges, but let's say I kept the party going after the Superbowl.

I've decided my new guidelines will be to keep each day below 1400 calories, eat a fruit and a salad every day, never eat anything deep fried, and generally avoid all foods that no longer bare any resemblance to their original source.

Crackers for example, which don't look much like wheat. Chocolate, which doesn't look much like cocoa beans. Noodles, which don't look much like anything. If the food doesn't bare much resemblance to its plant or animal sources, then I'm gonna try not to eat it.

I'm also gonna try to eat less meat, egg and cheese. And just generally move my diet in the direction of being more plant-based.

Tomorrow morning I'm gonna make a post covering all the days I missed in my absence. Tomorrow morning will also be when I begin with my new guidelines.

I'm gonna try to lose weight.

Until tomorrow,

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Day 55 - The Who?

Hello blog.

Didn't do well today. Lately I've just been miserable, and I guess I'm trying to ameliorate that with comfort food.

Breakfast was the low-carb thing I often like to start my day with. Scrambled eggs, bacon and sausage. Lunch was a roast beef sandwich with a caesar salad. I was actually going to stop there, but then found myself heading out for a burger and fries at 10pm. Then I tried to stop myself and come to some compromise, so I ordered a crispy chicken sandwich with fries instead (as if that's any better).

Then I tried to talk my way through eating it and kept telling myself to eat slowly and stop when I was full.

Then I ate the entire thing. Haha.

2300 calories for the day.

And I just found out The Who is playing the halftime show on Sunday.

My favorite song of theirs. I always associate it with Kevin Spacey's transformation in that movie American Beauty.

I'm a fan of The Who, but half the band is dead and the guys remaining are in their 60s. I don't understand why they're being tapped for the halftime show.

But Paul McCartney gave probably my favorite halftime performance of all time. Age wasn't a factor there. Maybe it'll work out.

I seem to have stopped trying to lose weight. I'm not really backsliding because I'm never eating enough to actually gain weight. But at the same time I'm barely eating little enough to lose much weight.

I need to find motivation. I don't know what I'm losing weight for, really. I know I'll be healthier and I'll look better in clothes. What else? I've lived the life of a sedentary fat person for the last 13 years, so it's not like I'm aching to run out and go skiing or anything. I've never done anything physical.

I guess I'll probably have more confidence which will have a ripple effect to every facet of my life.

I need to adhere to some new rule. Below 1500 calories every day, maybe. I'll figure something out and start after Superbowl Sunday.

Until tomorrow,

Friday, February 5, 2010

Day 54 - The Cream Cheese Rangoon

Hello blog.

I ate a lot of Chinese food today.

My day started pretty well. Just had a fruit salad and a caesar salad. The work day didn't go very well. By the nature of my work, some days I can actually lose money. The occasional loss is unavoidable, and this was one of those days. And after one of those days, my mood hits the floor and it seems nearly impossible for me to practice moderation.

I had a small portion of kung pao chicken, a small portion of broccoli beef, a small portion of chow mein, 2 small spring rolls and 3 of these cream cheese rangoons.

The Chinese food meal was about 1200 calories, and the salads combined were about 500.

It's a good thing I haven't binged in a long time. My stomach can't handle more than 1200 calories or so at once these days. If it could, in that mood I might've eaten 3000.

I know it's horrible, but I never dreamed that one of my horrible days would be 1700 calories. So I see some good in this.

Expect some meat on Superbowl Sunday.

Until tomorrow,

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Day 53 - The Stomach Ache

Hello blog.

I ate too much food today.

Morningish was a low-carb meal of scrambled eggs with bacon and sausage. Had a ham & swiss panini with a fruit bowl around lunch. Dinner was 1 steak taco and some grilled chicken. And throughout the day I ate 6 Kind bars.

If labels are accurate it was right about 2500 calories on the day. Which isn't horrendous or anything. Plenty of healthy people eat that much every day, but those people definitely aren't as sedentary as I am. I can't eat that much.

I really lost it with the Kind bars today. They're delicious and healthy, but having something that tastes that good around the house is something I can't exercise moderation around I guess. It got to the point where I just wanted to finish them off so I wouldn't have them around the house anymore, because I felt like they were making me hungrier all the time.

So that's it for the Kind bars, I'm all out.

At the time I'm writing this it's morning the next day and I have a pretty bad stomach ache. Not sure if it's all the food I ate leeching all the hydration from my body, or if I'm coming down with something. Flu season is peaking right about now.

I guess I'll find out soon enough.

I'm off to go do the same thing I do every day for 10 hours straight to increase my net worth by 1.25%.

Kill me.

Until tomorrow,

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Day 52 - The Kind Cranberry

Hello blog.

Had dentist and hygienist appointments today and still have to put in 8 hours of work so I'm pretty jammed for time. But I think I prefer it that way.

This time I found myself again reaching for the convenience of the Kind bars. Had 3 cranberry & almond.

I really don't think they're bad. They're basically just dried fruits and nuts. The problem is, both of those things are extremely calorie-dense foods.

And I'm pretty sure this Kind has macadamias. They're just too good.

For proper meals I had one steak taco, some corn chips with guacamole (I love love love avocado), and a small salad with I think cotija cheese and cilantro dressing.

On my drive home I again grabbed a soft serve ice cream cone from McDonald's. It's become a bit of a ritual to drive home and have soft serve while listening to NPR.

But today I'm announcing no more ice cream from now on unless it's some special social thing. No more everyday ice cream. No more lonely ice cream.

I think my calorie total for the day was like 1400 - 1700 or so.

Until tomorrow,

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Day 51 - The Slow

Hello blog.

I was partway through my fast, had just gotten out of therapy, and was asking myself, "Why am I fasting?"

Then I stopped fasting.

Throughout the day I had 3 grilled chicken legs, 1 steak taco, some corn chip with guacamole, 2 kind cranberry & almond bars, and a big salad with grilled chicken and cilantro dressing. And once again the dreaded ice cream cone.

Less than 2,000 calories on the day. It's a healthy amount of food for me to eat but it's too much to be getting results at the pace I want. I really need to bring it down to like 1400 or less. Or start exercising maybe, if I could ever find some form of physical activity I don't hate.

This guy's really funny. And since flying to New York recently, his stuff about flying has taken on new meaning to me.

I'm still really not sure whether deciding to break my fast is a good sign or a bad sign. It's either a lack of discipline, or signs of a more healthy less turbulent relationship to food.

I don't know which.

Until tomorrow,

Monday, February 1, 2010

Day 50 - The Double

Hello blog.

This was the last day of January, and it's officially February.

Happy February, everyone.

It was a very rare day off for me so I didn't want to worry much about what I was eating honestly.

I ate I think 4 of the Kind Apricot & Almond bars throughout the day. This is what I always worry about when keeping food around the apartment. It's so much easier to not eat food if it's at a great distance.

Other than that I had a double burger with fries from Wendy's, and later an ice cream cone from McDonald's.

Mmmm. Doesn't that look appetizing.

It was pretty much joyless for me, and I didn't finish the burger or the fries.

Total calories for the day were about 2,000 according to labels. More if the labels are lying, and less if you consider the fact that I didn't finish anything.

At the time I'm writing this it's the first of February and I'm starting my green tea and super c fast. About to shower and get busy with work from about 9am to about 10pm.

I actually think I have therapy at 3pm so that'll be a nice little break from work.

After the fast (which will last 1 or 2 days) I'll be back to my grilled chicken and salads and stuff.

Until tomorrow,