Still been off my diet. It's kind of been put on the back burner for a while now. I'm not gonna make any promises about what's going to happen with it, since we all know how much that would be worth, but I'm going to keep making attempts at getting back with it like I have been.
Been having some of this the last couple days, along with leftover pizza and hotwings. Very frat house of me. Other than that there was a turkey bacon cheddar sandwich, some stuffed jalapenos, and one other thing I'm struggling to remember. Sorry.Stella Artois reminds me of the time I spent in New York. Kind of how adults return to McDonald's for those happy childhood memories, I guess I go for Stella to remind myself of complimentary shoehorns and $60 almond milk pancakes.
As I'm writing this post I'm in the middle of day 73. So far I've had a modest brunch and future plans are to just have for dinner a small serving of kung pao chicken a la carte. Kind of a stupid plan, but wish me luck.Until tomorrow,
Eric
Ok, so back in one of your entries you told people to give you hell if you don't stick to a healthy way of eating. I hardly think I'm well enough qualified to do this,but considering the comments on your blog are getting fewer and fewer, I guess I'll be the one to do it. First off, go look back at your first entry. Heart palpitations, gall bladder attacks, pre-diabetes, and loads of cash wasted on junk...are your reasons for wanting to lose the weight, but here's what I think. First off, you said you want accountability...yet you use a fake name on here. You may not have intentionally set yourself up like this, but has it occured to you that people are leaving comments to a fake guy Eric? Maybe, you don't want to show your real name b/c to do so would be letting people in a bit more than what you are ready for. It's easier to let that guy "Eric" be on the receiving end of the comments so you won't have to see YOUR name there. Also, I think one of the reasons you don't comment back often to followers is b/c to do so would be too intimate. Next, as soon as you hit the 30lb. mark, something happened. You pretty much stopped giving a sh*t. I could be wrong, but since you don't really respond to people who comment there's really no way for us to know, so I'm going to speculate. I think maybe you are afraid of losing the weight b/c to do so would be something good for you and you are all about punishing yourself. I don't know why you'd personally want to punish yourself, but I do know that there is more reason to it than simply being an addict (not that there is anything simple about being addicted). Are you still seeing the psychologist? You really need to figure out why you punish yourself and why you don't value your life. Also, through this whole "diet", you are only putting yourself halfway in. You count calories, but you eat mostly junk. You have one good day of eating and the next day you cancel that out by eating junk. You have a hard day, but you make that day harder..how?....by eating junk. You've stated before that unless someone is a binge addict, they couldn't possibly understand where you're coming from. Here's the thing, despite that, many people have joined your blog attempting to encourage you and be a support. People have given you advice and have been truly concerned for your health b/c of the things you eat....and why have some of those people dropped off in giving feedback lately? (see next comment for second part)
ReplyDeleteYou need to answer that for yourself. Randy Pausch said, "When you are doing something badly and no one’s bothering to tell you anymore, that’s a very bad place to be. Your critics are the ones still telling you they love you and care." I'll tell you this, people gave up on me. I complained for many years about people nagging me b/c of my health. Some of those people were pricks, however, there were many who genuinely cared. They stopped saying things. I gained even MORE weight. They stopped caring. I eventually made it to my all time high of 390. There's a lot of medical reasons behind that number and there's a LOT of other stupid ass reasons behind that number. YOU will see that number if you don't take your health seriously now. Don't treat this like a diet b/c it's gotta be a life change. Don't make promises unless you can treat them like gold. Do not "keep making attempts", "just do it" is what all my successful bloggy friends have been telling me. You've gotta get rid of the all or nothing mentality. This has been one of my biggest hang-ups I had to deal with. So, you don't have will power...who does?...so you've messed up lately...who doesn't? Jump back on the horse and RIDE. Your life depends on it...you will die an early death if you don't change. You need to take inventory of the people you'd hurt and what you'd lose if you die of this. You need to ask each one of your loved ones and close friends how they feel about your health. Also, if you've shared with them about your addiction, you need to ask them for help and ask them how YOUR addiction affects their lives. I know that sounds hard, but trust me, you'll be glad you did it. I did it and those were some hard conversations...but it brought me back to reality. You may think all of this sounds like crap coming from someone who weighs so much more than you do, but the thing is is that I've been at the weight loss game all my life. I have binged myself senseless and I've caused pain to others around me. I GOT help....lots of it and now I'm trying to pass this onto you before you end up in the same boat as I am or (was). I think I take the things you say a bit personally, b/c I identify with it and so earnestly do I wish someone with the same problems had've explained to me how hard it would get as I got older and all the consequences of it all. So, here's my 2cent contribution. I hope it helps you. If it doesn't, then it helped me restating a lot of the same stuff I have to keep telling myself so I stay in the reality of things. I truly hope life gets better for you and I truly hope you find/fight your way into life "Eric". There's a lot of good in it if you truly want it to be. Oh, and if you've never read some of Randy Pausch's last quotes, here they are. They can be life changing. It was his last lecture that helped me take a hard look at my life. http://socialcapital.wordpress.com/2008/04/11/randy-pausch-notable-quotes/
ReplyDeleteStart getting more intimate with this process. Listen to the people on here who've been successful. Stop eating so much junk. The chemicals and additives have a HUGE impact on your mental and physical wellness. I promise if you do this, you will be amazed at how much some of the fog will clear. Take the good things you've been doing so far and multiply them. Keep adding more and more good habits. Don't quit! I truly wish you the best. :)
Well, Kim pretty much said it all. Don't have much to contribute, but I will comment.
ReplyDeleteAll I'm gonna say is it's unfathomable to me that you care more about beer and tasty food than your health, body, and well-being. I know that food is a great pleasure of life. I get it. But you're abusing it. If you would teach yourself to have a good relationship with food, then you could enjoy it AND be healthy, not worrying that you're going to die an early death because of something stupid like *eating too many buffalo wings*. Now, you said that you were going to start eating better. That you were going to stick to foods that resembled what they actually are, and that we could give you hell for it if you weren't. So there you go.