Breakfast was a flashback to a few weeks ago. I had scrambled eggs, bacon, and rye toast. It's a meal I was eating quite a bit when I think I was doing a little better with this diet. About 600 - 700 calories.
Like I said in my last post, I also had Kung Pao Chicken a la carte.
Pictured here is an authentic version of the dish served in Shanghai. What I had was a very small 250 calorie portion of the westernized version.
I ate this too early in the day and ended up getting very hungry by the evening. Tried to keep it reasonable-er and went with a mexican plate of beans, rice, and chicken, with one tortilla. About 700 calories.
I guess 1600 - 1700 or so on the day.
Was actually about to go out and spend 1000 calories like they were quarters in the hands of a kid in an arcade, but Kim's post brought my fat-guy guilt to an all-time high and I went with the beans and rice instead.
Asking people in my life how my eating affects them sounds like a great idea on paper, but I can't imagine how I'd ever bring myself to do it. Even if I decided to, I'd probably sit there unable to even start the first sentence. It'd seem too dramatic to me. And one of my siblings has already put my parents through enough drama, I'm always trying to be the one that doesn't have any for them.
It's kind of funny that you brought up that idea though, because just this morning I was heading out and I saw a note taped to my neighbor's apartment door. My neighbor's a black guy who I was always pretty sure was gay, living with his mom and I think his sister. The note taped to the door was a list of declarations, and among that list of declarations were things like "I declare I'm going to sing for a living" and "I declare I'm going to become a millionaire."
The two that stood out were, "I declare I'm going to meet and marry the man of my dreams." Later followed by, "I declare I'm going to be a better man." I don't know if this was his way of coming out to his family, but it seemed really grandiose and weird to me.
Basically, how I felt about my neighbor when reading that note, is how I'd expect everyone else to feel if I started asking them if my eating makes them sad. And I don't want to be that guy.
It wouldn't take very long, though. I only know like 3 people on a personal level.
You're right though, my problems are much more than just binge addiction. And yeah, I'm continuing to meet with my psychologist every week. I actually recently learned I meet the diagnostic criteria for Asperger's syndrome.
Not sure how I feel about that.
I lost my train of thought.