Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Day 9 - The Chicken Madeira

Hello blog.

I ate today, all totaled to about 2600 calories.

Nobody wanted to write a meal plan so it was all me. I had The Cheesecake Factory around noon, then ate some Korean instant ramen later on, along with some more small quantities of Japanese candy.

This is fried macaroni and cheese. Extremely good and bad, for different reasons. I only ate part of this.

This is the entree I ordered, which is a combination of Steak Diane and Chicken Madeira. I didn't touch the potatoes, I ate maybe half of the steak, and I ate most of the chicken. I meant to stop eating the chicken earlier, but it was one of the better things I've ever tasted, so I went for a few extra bites.

And dessert, some fresh strawberry shortcake. It's one of the lighter desserts they offer, believe it or not. I think I got about a third of it, and generally avoided the cake part.

And once again, the food tasted amazing, but I failed to achieve a binge high. I was aiming for it at The Cheesecake Factory, but since I haven't really been eating, my stomach can't seem to handle it. I fill up and get nauseous well before I've eaten enough for a proper binge high.

Even while I'm eating it, I'm not feeling great about it. The taste is amazing, but I'm not getting the usual feelings of excitement and joy that I used to get over food. It's actually the opposite, I was dreading the meal from the moment I woke up. When it arrived I was almost scared of it, and was just thinking "great, now I have to eat."

Without the satisfaction of bingeing, all I feel after a meal is regret for whatever unnecessary weight I'm keeping because of it. And that's what I feel right now.

The ramen was different though. It seems I can enjoy eating without bingeing and not feel regret, as long as it's something new and strange that I'm interested in. The weird candies and imported ramen fit this bill. I think I enjoyed the $1 ramen more than the $22 chicken madeira.

Gained 3lbs. I was carrying a bottle of water with me all day today, and I ate quite a bit, so it's unsurprising.

After BMR calculations I think the day was pretty close to break-even weight-loss wise, despite the upward spike.

And to people who'd like to see me eating and losing weight in a more healthy way. I don't know what to say, other than, I don't think I can.

Until tomorrow,


  1. Yesterday a friend of mine told me this story to make a point:

    Now, if you have never ridden a motorcycle (or even a mountain bike) as fast as you can through the woods along a narrow path in the mud and rain, you may not understand just how tree roots can be the worst obstacle you can imagine.

    See, once they get wet and have a bit of sap on them they become the slickest thing in the world to a tire. No other lubricant can come close to a sappy, wet and muddy tree root. And, since you are almost always guaranteed to need to turn on a root - on a hill - there is a real high degree of probability you will dump the bike.

    The one thing that has always stuck to me is that the bike has more ability to go where you point it than you think. The bike doesn't care how steep it is, or how fast you are going. Only you care about that stuff. If you concentrate on the tree root, you will crash; if you concentrate on where to put the bike that is NOT the root, you will succeed.

    In other words, in the face of the tree root obstacle look at the area around the tree root - where there IS traction - and maneuver the bike there. Keep you eyes on where to go to keep moving forward, not on the things in your way.

    Make sense?

  2. Whether you think you can or can't - you're right. (think for a minute - get it?)

    You haven't tried losing weight in a healthy way. So why don't you think you can?

    Check out SparkPeople or even WeightWatchers.com...WW has message boards, where you will be able to get daily meal plans easily.

    Without being specific...try eating 5 servings of fruit/veggies, 3 servings of low fat milk, at least 6 servings of water, some protein and whole grains...all in one day! Eat something other than restaurant food, or junk (candy, popsicles and ramen).

  3. Do not say you can't. You can. You CHOOSE not to! As for meal plans, yes it is on you. But take into consideration Tammy from TC's Tale also basically TOLD you how to eat! We are here to help, but you put this shit out into the blog world then basically ignore any help offered.

    First things first, STOP EATING OUT! Go to the grocery store, buy shit that hasn't been processed, precooked, or packed with sugar and salt. That includes those heart stopping ramen noodles. Learn to love fruits, vegetables, lean meats, and light dairy, learn to prepare your meals. You appreciate your food much more when it takes you time to prepare it before you eat it.

    Beyond that, at least you ate.

  4. I'm sorry to not hand you over a meal plan, but seriously, you have to take SOME initiative here. You obviously have access to the internet, and a few simple searches, or a visit to SparkPeople or Weight Watchers will give you something to go by. We bloggers are here to give you moral support and advice, but we can't do everything for you! Some things you have to do yourself. If you're not sure about a meal plan, post it here and we'll let you know what we think (we're good at that, as you can see!).

    Educate yourself, Eric. Learn what is healthy and what isn't. Search the net, go to the library, buy a healthy meals cook book. Don't sit back and wait for someone to do it for you. This is YOUR life and you can do it!