I ate today, all totaled to about 2600 calories.
Nobody wanted to write a meal plan so it was all me. I had The Cheesecake Factory around noon, then ate some Korean instant ramen later on, along with some more small quantities of Japanese candy.
This is fried macaroni and cheese. Extremely good and bad, for different reasons. I only ate part of this.
This is the entree I ordered, which is a combination of Steak Diane and Chicken Madeira. I didn't touch the potatoes, I ate maybe half of the steak, and I ate most of the chicken. I meant to stop eating the chicken earlier, but it was one of the better things I've ever tasted, so I went for a few extra bites.
And dessert, some fresh strawberry shortcake. It's one of the lighter desserts they offer, believe it or not. I think I got about a third of it, and generally avoided the cake part.
And once again, the food tasted amazing, but I failed to achieve a binge high. I was aiming for it at The Cheesecake Factory, but since I haven't really been eating, my stomach can't seem to handle it. I fill up and get nauseous well before I've eaten enough for a proper binge high.
Even while I'm eating it, I'm not feeling great about it. The taste is amazing, but I'm not getting the usual feelings of excitement and joy that I used to get over food. It's actually the opposite, I was dreading the meal from the moment I woke up. When it arrived I was almost scared of it, and was just thinking "great, now I have to eat."
Without the satisfaction of bingeing, all I feel after a meal is regret for whatever unnecessary weight I'm keeping because of it. And that's what I feel right now.
The ramen was different though. It seems I can enjoy eating without bingeing and not feel regret, as long as it's something new and strange that I'm interested in. The weird candies and imported ramen fit this bill. I think I enjoyed the $1 ramen more than the $22 chicken madeira.
Gained 3lbs. I was carrying a bottle of water with me all day today, and I ate quite a bit, so it's unsurprising.
After BMR calculations I think the day was pretty close to break-even weight-loss wise, despite the upward spike.
And to people who'd like to see me eating and losing weight in a more healthy way. I don't know what to say, other than, I don't think I can.