Today I ate a burger with fries, and a snickers ice cream bar. I think I'd consider this a binge, yet it's still less than I would've eaten for a typical meal before I started the blog.
If you live in the southwest USA, then you probably know In-N-Out makes the best burgers and fries in the world. I've had $50 burgers made with Kobe beef and they weren't as good. I don't think there's anything a chef could do to make a burger better than an In-N-Out burger.I tried to induce vomiting, but was unsuccessful.
All totaled, I ate less than 1400 calories today, since I only ate the one meal. It's significantly less than my basal metabolic rate, so I guess I should call that a success.
I just realized that I could lose 100lbs and still have a binge disorder.
I'm seeing a psychologist, seeking the support of others, and trying to lose weight. I guess there's not much else to do but keep on trying to change. I just don't know how (or if) I'm ever going to make a binge no longer appeal to me.
There's something great about fasting. When I'm fasting I'm always carrying with me the anticipation of a future event that I'll enjoy. I know someday I'll eat again, it doesn't really matter when, and I know that when I do, it's going to be great. Not only is it going to be great, but it's going to taste even better with every extra hour I starve.
You could compare it to climbing up Everest. It can't feel very good when you're in your tenth straight hour of climbing, icicles hanging from your nose and dizzy from the thinning atmosphere, but at the same time it must feel good to endure all that abuse knowing eventually you'll be standing up on that summit, trying to echo your cheers off the next mountain over.
Another pound of not-very-meaningful statistical variance.I've decided I'm gonna take updated progress photos every 20lbs, so when I hit 266 we'll all get to see what 286 - 20 looks like. I'm guessing it'll probably happen before The New Year.
Until tomorrow,
Eric
Eric,
ReplyDeleteI'm concerned, man. You're eating things that have absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever. And you're only eating once a day.
You tried to induce vomiting? Not good.
I wouldn't consider that a binge, either. A burger and fries is a "normal" meal. It probably gave you a binge high because it wasn't healthy.
I think you should try looking into a weight loss program. I'm a sucker for Weight Watchers, but if you can find something that works for you, that will give you sound nutritional advice, that's better than a burger, fries and ice cream bar.
I second the comments from the person who posted above.
ReplyDeleteWhy would you want to make yourself throw up? You don't want to trade one eating disorder for another!
And definitely about the nutrition. Even if you only do eat once a day (which really is still not ideal) you should just pack it with tons of veggies, some fruit and some lean protein and dairy - because you want to lose fat, not muscle - and if your body isn't getting the nutrients it needs, that is what will happen.
Eric Eric Eric...
ReplyDeleteHoney this is NOT the way to get where you want to be! Eating empty calories then regurgitating so that your body doesn't even carry that fuel, it's going to kill you. Please please read the blogs of others that have been on this journey, especially of Lyn from http://escapefromobesity.blogspot.com/ she knows what you're going through, as I understand it she's a food addict as well.
You have an entire community of people that have stood at the beginning as you are now, have struggled to get where they are, some even still struggling, and a lot of them have succeeded.
You have a pool of people to choose from, we're all here to support you in any way we can.
Please, just reach out...
Amber