I had a slice of coffee cake, a skinny vanilla latte, then eggs with bacon and sausage, then pizza and hotwings.
I've been incredibly depressed these last few days, and I'm breaking out a little. I'm almost positive the depression came after all this bingeing, not before.My mind keeps searching for excuses to eat junk food. Pretty much reverting to 3 months ago, but still haven't been eating as much as I did then if you can believe it.
Day 85 will be the day that I correct myself.
Fingers crossed.
Until tomorrow,
Eric
It isn't unusual for someone in your mental state to continually revert to food as reward for your feelings.
ReplyDeleteThe trick is to find a different reward. Unfortunately if you are addicted to being gratified as I am, it is challenging to find rewards that kick in very quickly.
Are there some non-food, fitness related purchases you can make to start the gratification cycle while at the same time trying to get your weight loss started with sensible eating and light exercise that will then allow the process of losing weight to be gratifying too?
How about a Wii Fit? That'd be a good splurge for a house bound techie like yourself?
I binge too. I always have. # years ago I started low carb and lost over 100 pounds, but have still not been able to figure out how to control binges. I have now put on 30 pounds. I didn't even put it on cheating and eating sugar...it was all from binges, eating nuts (soooo many nuts) and low carb bars. Right now I need to fix what ever is going on on the inside so the outside can follow =) It's a lot of work, but it can be done. I weighed over 300 pounds for 20 years O_O OMG, I'm so old...bahahahaha! The highest weight I saw was 350. I've always been fat...it's all I know. When I started losing I started getting scared and that lead to a lot of my binges too. I'm sorry for the ramble. I just wanted to say your not alone xoxox
ReplyDeleteThe only two excuses we have for eating junk food is b/c we think it tastes good and b/c we want it. Everything else we tell ourselves is a lie. Yes, the depression definitely can stem from eating junk food...I think I've mentioned before that the chemicals in the food can actually alter our minds. The fog will lift, if you boot out most of the chemicals.
ReplyDeleteI spent a better part of last year being depressed. I thought it was so much about my environmental circumstances, but after I slowly started booting the processed food out of my house (again), I realized that my circumstances could be way better handled if I could think clearly. Relief from depression was almost immediate when I took steps to care for myself. It'll happen for you too. Chin up. :) It's good to hear you say that tomorrow will be the day to correct. You didn't say "try" or "I'm hoping"....you said "will". Awesome...make it count. :)
Who do you actually talk to about this stuff outside of this blog?
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Missa
LosingEthel
Eric, I think the food you're eating is affecting your mental state. You know the old saying, you are what you eat. It's really true.
ReplyDeleteEat crap and you feel like crap. I know because I've been there. The depression was probably there anyway, but when you eat bad it makes it a lot worse.
You never talk about exercise. Do you exercise at all? I think it could change your life. I know it has changed mine. The endorphins are a drugless high and worth every second of pain caused by the exercise. You should try it.
Hang in there, and don't give up. Don't ever give up.